Is it possible that there is only one person out there for each of us? Is each person born with only one soulmate? If so, can we always be assured we will find that one person out of 5.97 billion people that we are meant to be with?
I was talking to a friend of mine to define in verbal parameters what exactly a soulmate is, and she defined it as "the one person your find the most happiness with, and don't feel a void". After careful thought, I then proceeded to ask her how we can be assured of this when there is no way we can possibly know what it's like to be with anyone else. She replied, "Because that one person that you are with, you don't wonder if you could've been happier with someone else".
As I thought about this, I realized that choosing someone to be your soulmate is exactly that... a choice. When you make that committment to be with someone and build a life with them, you are essentially picking the one person that you feel has it all. Now what my definition of happiness is certainly differs from the next, but that's what makes everyone unique. We are all looking for Mr. or Mrs. "Right", and yet so many people don't find them. It's not because they are not "destined" to their happlily ever after, but more so because they have not made a choice to commit to somebody. And according to my friend's definition, they have not found anybody that can make them stop wondering if it gets better.
As we continue through life and continue to grow and flourish, it is obvious that needs and wants change through wisdom, experience, and maturity. So not only do definitions of soulmates differ from person to person, but also over time within each individual. What I looked for five years ago in a soulmate is by far a 180 from what I now find as "soulmate" qualities. Eventually destiny takes its course, and things reveal themselves in due time. In the meantime, what is your definition of a soulmate? Who is that one perfect person for you in this world? Have you found him/her yet? What defines your happiness? If defining one simple word is so difficult, I can't imagine how hard Webster had it.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
A Game of Cards
Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will.
-Jawaharal Nehru
(side note: Determinism is the belief that everything has an antecedent cause.)
After reading this quote, I can't help but think back to all of those little "life lessons" that mom and dad teach you. You know, the ones where you roll your eyes and laugh at when they aren't there-- You're playing a board game with your sister and your mom reminds you "Cheaters never win" (And all you can think is, "Um, of course they do-- that's why people cheat!") or your dad tells you "Do it right and do it right the first time" and you snicker associating his reluctance to repeat things with him not wanting to waste valuable time. Or even the ones you have no idea what they mean at the time-- "The world is your oyster" and you think, "I don't even LIKE seafood!" or "Don't count your chickens before they hatch" and you spin your finger by your ear going "Craaazzzyyy... they're so old and senile, they can't even remember that we don't have any animals!".
As we all get older, I'm sure it's safe to assume that we have found that more than one of these euphemisms have proven true. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure my mom and dad tried to add a few extra proverbs over the years so they could get more satisfaction when you realize they were right. You have to give it to them though, parents definitely had the patience thing down... my parents waited years to hear "You were right". But as I get old enough to admit my mistakes, I also realize that maybe they didn't just want to say "I told you so". My parents taught me all of these "little, useless" life lessons, not so they could tell me how wise they were back then (although I think that's an added perk), but also so that I might occasionally put one of them into practice as I travel down life's path.
Just like everyone else, I've had a crack or two in my stroll through life. Although challenging at times, I have always been able to recover. Looking back on everything I have accomplished and everything that I didn't, I can definitely say those "useless" life lessons have come into play more than once. Never could I have imagined that world really was my oyster and I would be out in this big world, but here I am. Sometimes, we don't have control of what happens to us, but the way we use those experiences is up to us. Our free will is what determines the boundaries by which we evaluate our circumstances. It allows us to control our reaction when destiny has determined our cards.
My mom just told me today, "Every decision has a consequence, be it good, bad, or neutral." And when we have regrets, it's because we decided on the wrong cards to play. And we all make bad choices and play the wrong hand every now and then, but the trick is to improve the art of playing properly so that when we have kids, we don't ever miss the opportunity to say "I told you so!"... and maybe so that our kids will also learn how to play the game of life properly.
-Jawaharal Nehru
(side note: Determinism is the belief that everything has an antecedent cause.)
After reading this quote, I can't help but think back to all of those little "life lessons" that mom and dad teach you. You know, the ones where you roll your eyes and laugh at when they aren't there-- You're playing a board game with your sister and your mom reminds you "Cheaters never win" (And all you can think is, "Um, of course they do-- that's why people cheat!") or your dad tells you "Do it right and do it right the first time" and you snicker associating his reluctance to repeat things with him not wanting to waste valuable time. Or even the ones you have no idea what they mean at the time-- "The world is your oyster" and you think, "I don't even LIKE seafood!" or "Don't count your chickens before they hatch" and you spin your finger by your ear going "Craaazzzyyy... they're so old and senile, they can't even remember that we don't have any animals!".
As we all get older, I'm sure it's safe to assume that we have found that more than one of these euphemisms have proven true. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure my mom and dad tried to add a few extra proverbs over the years so they could get more satisfaction when you realize they were right. You have to give it to them though, parents definitely had the patience thing down... my parents waited years to hear "You were right". But as I get old enough to admit my mistakes, I also realize that maybe they didn't just want to say "I told you so". My parents taught me all of these "little, useless" life lessons, not so they could tell me how wise they were back then (although I think that's an added perk), but also so that I might occasionally put one of them into practice as I travel down life's path.
Just like everyone else, I've had a crack or two in my stroll through life. Although challenging at times, I have always been able to recover. Looking back on everything I have accomplished and everything that I didn't, I can definitely say those "useless" life lessons have come into play more than once. Never could I have imagined that world really was my oyster and I would be out in this big world, but here I am. Sometimes, we don't have control of what happens to us, but the way we use those experiences is up to us. Our free will is what determines the boundaries by which we evaluate our circumstances. It allows us to control our reaction when destiny has determined our cards.
My mom just told me today, "Every decision has a consequence, be it good, bad, or neutral." And when we have regrets, it's because we decided on the wrong cards to play. And we all make bad choices and play the wrong hand every now and then, but the trick is to improve the art of playing properly so that when we have kids, we don't ever miss the opportunity to say "I told you so!"... and maybe so that our kids will also learn how to play the game of life properly.
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